Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
