I'm going to rape someone's good day.
only you would photoshop your dick
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize