Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize