You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
