is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize