So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
