really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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