Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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