I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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