She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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