Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?

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  (415): if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me? http://tfl.nu/n53h
  Replies (90) Good night (941) Bad night (10376)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I could make treat bags

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  (785): Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson. (785): I could make treat bags http://tfl.nu/dekx
  Replies (104) Good night (6320) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.

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  (501): All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware. http://tfl.nu/9chk
  Replies (5) Good night (4494) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?

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  (203): I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me? http://tfl.nu/jc3e
  Replies (7) Good night (997) Bad night (4016)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.

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  (630): He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over. http://tfl.nu/mky5
  Replies (13) Good night (1072) Bad night (5926)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.

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  (508): just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night. http://tfl.nu/ks6r
  Replies (4) Good night (2376) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.

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  (805): He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/k960
  Replies (23) Good night (1679) Bad night (2324)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.

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  (314): Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me. http://tfl.nu/z9vp
  Replies (6) Good night (3152) Bad night (1336)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..

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  (330): he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder.. http://tfl.nu/5whr
  Replies (23) Good night (1115) Bad night (2175)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"

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  (724): oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis" http://tfl.nu/2s94
  Replies (10) Good night (1266) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.

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  (209): No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you. http://tfl.nu/dxdf
  Replies (3) Good night (658) Bad night (1099)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?

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  (214): Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember? http://tfl.nu/njcl
  Replies (2) Good night (624) Bad night (936)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.

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  (941): We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go. http://tfl.nu/o8qv
  Replies (2) Good night (957) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump

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  (860): I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump http://tfl.nu/62ek
  Replies (3) Good night (534) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.

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  (619): I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things. http://tfl.nu/mpyy
  Replies (3) Good night (644) Bad night (272)

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