Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.

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  (612): just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity. http://tfl.nu/dkjk
  Replies (11) Good night (962) Bad night (3149)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.

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  (253): she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time. http://tfl.nu/yrce
  Replies (47) Good night (1823) Bad night (8586)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.

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  (206): dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement. http://tfl.nu/2u7j
  Replies (29) Good night (2725) Bad night (4973)
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  (914): View more from New York

  This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.

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  (914): This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive. http://tfl.nu/c66s
  Replies (11) Good night (1191) Bad night (4111)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You know i think she's just using me for sex

  (1-608): View more from Wisconsin

  I hate you.

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  (608): You know i think she's just using me for sex (1-608): I hate you. http://tfl.nu/pxkn
  Replies (13) Good night (5638) Bad night (1488)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.

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  (704): a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you. http://tfl.nu/45tv
  Replies (2) Good night (2898) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?

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  (262): Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU? http://tfl.nu/jzba
  Replies (5) Good night (2510) Bad night (833)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"

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  (309): She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat" http://tfl.nu/3rr9
  Replies (6) Good night (1099) Bad night (2404)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.

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  (913): I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms. (1-913): So you know, I'm making that my facebook status. http://tfl.nu/4s8l
  Replies (24) Good night (8007) Bad night (1415)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable

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  (603): I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable http://tfl.nu/70go
  Replies (9) Good night (1621) Bad night (612)
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  (631): View more from New York

  His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE

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  (631): His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE http://tfl.nu/8spd
  Replies (17) Good night (1057) Bad night (2046)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?

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  (505): Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it? http://tfl.nu/czl6
  Replies (2) Good night (385) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (830): View more from Texas

  You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.

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  (830): You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations. http://tfl.nu/eber
  Replies (3) Good night (729) Bad night (568)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf

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  (781): Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf http://tfl.nu/hqdc
  Replies (2) Good night (1018) Bad night (381)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink

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  (508): I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink http://tfl.nu/9k20
  Replies (0) Good night (435) Bad night (275)

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