im drinking this country out of the recession.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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