Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
