Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
