And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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