I just saw a hot homeless man
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize