That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
