I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I love having hate sex.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
