remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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