you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
