Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize