Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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