So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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