I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
you inspire me to be a worse person
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
