hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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