dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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