this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Is Oprah even human
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
