Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
