her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize