I think I am morally bankrupt
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
