you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
