All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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