A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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