I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
