wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
