wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
His nipple licking is glorious
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