One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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