yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
