I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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