Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
