I skipped work to stalk him.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I didn't notice because vodka
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
