this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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