Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Sober January is a disaster.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Semen is not good for contacts.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
