the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
