we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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