this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize
