1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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