Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
