Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
