He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
