have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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