dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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