You're completely useless in the revolution.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
