Ambien. No doubt about it.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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