Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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