I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
