Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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