I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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