My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
