what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
