He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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