Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize