so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
