You're completely useless in the revolution.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
