ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
