I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize