I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
now i know why i became what i already was.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
