this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
