at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
