Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
