I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
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wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize